Why Dating Sucks for INFJs
New psychobabble episode. Watch on Youtube or listen on Anchor below.
We see past the surface and we are future oriented
We see past people’s masks to their true potential. This leads to future-tripping where we get stuck in relationships based on what they could be, instead of what they are right now.
2. We are very slow processors
It takes us a long time to figure out how we feel. We might not realize we were bothered by something in the moment, and even then, we might not be able to pinpoint or articulate the exact problem.
3. There are very few people who can meet our needs
We show love by meeting other’s needs and very few people are good at doing that for us.
4. We are attracted to very few people
Physical attraction isn’t important to us by itself. We need an intellectual and spiritual connection to be attracted to someone.
5. We get bored easily
We need a lot of mental stimulation to stay engaged, but it’s hard to find mentally stimulating people who aren’t also toxic.
6. We have trouble recieving
We are givers who have trouble receiving and asking for help.
7. We are chameleons
We have spent our whole lives trying to blend in. We have trouble finally showing our true identities after hiding for so long.
8. We are healers
If we don’t have appropriate outlets for our healing energy, it can cause problems in our relationships where we try to rescue or fix people.
9. No one believes in our intuition
Intuition is our number one superpower, and very few people believe in it. Having a partner who doesn’t believe in intuition is very invalidating.
10. We need information to feel secure
We are constantly trying to predict the future and we need information to do that. People who are aloof, confusing, or don’t communicate clearly make us feel like they are with-holding security from us.
11. We ask deep questions
We are genuinely curious about peoople and sometimes asking deep questions makes them think we’re romantically intereted when we’re not. Some people are so desperate for deep connection that they immediately latch on and suffocate us.
12. We need our relationships to support our work
INFJs are here to do important work. In relationships, we struggle to put our needs first, but if our relationship is taking all of our energy, we can’t focus on the healing work that we are here to do.
13. We don’t fit in a box
A lot of single people are looking for someone with the same, very focused hobbies. But we’re not very happy spending all of our time with our partners or doing the same things all of the time. We need space and variety to feel fulfilled.
14. We are introverts
We don’t have a lot of opportunities to meet new people because we like to spend most of our time alone. When we finally do socialize, it’s hard to find people we connect with.
15. Dating is stressful
Dating is unpredicatable and way outside our comfort zone. It’s hard for us to feel prepared and comfortable when we have to interact with strangers.
