The 52 Immutable Laws of the Universe
I always hated church. Dad was savvy enough to escape, but Mom would make us children go. I shared a bedroom with my sister, and every once in a while, our parents would oversleep, and we would end up missing mass. When I figured out this pattern, I would keep my little sister trapped in our bedroom every Sunday morning on the slim chance that if we were quiet enough, they would be less likely to wake up on time.
Church felt like I was being robbed of time. I spent all my free weekends in the woods, catching minnows or collecting mica. I belonged outside. That was my church. It was where I felt whole, at home, and at peace. It was where I was allowed to just exist.
Every morning spent at church was a morning lost in the woods behind my house, without the deer, birds, or frogs to keep me company.
That wasn’t even the worst part. Besides church, I also had to go to CCD. A Catholic after-school program called the Confraternity of Christian Doctrine. This education even included sex ed, and I don’t remember much about it except for a distinct sense of unease with the merging of roman-catholic guilt and human sexuality.
Mom and I fought about Church and CCD into my teenage years until she finally gave me an alternative. If I wouldn’t allow church to save my soul, then I had to read “Chicken Soup for the Soul” books, and I had to volunteer somewhere. I chose the local riding center where I could socialize with horses instead of people, for obvious reasons.
The only other choice I was granted in my religious indoctrination was whether to get confirmed. For those lucky enough not to know, since babies cannot consent to their own baptism, they ask you to re-commit to your faith again at the cusp of adulthood, and they call it confirmation. I opted not to participate. It wasn’t until priests started getting exposed as pedophiles that Mom finally got over her disappointment.
She wasn’t the narcissist she might sound like. She was severely misguided. She was so busy always doing what she thought was right that she never stoped to question if it actually was. She thought being a good person meant diligently following the rules assigned by society. She cared too much about appearances and she learned to compensate for shame that didn’t belong to her. And she wanted us to have a community. Because she needed community when her mom was divorcing her violent, alcoholic of a father.
But I didn’t see community. I saw hypocrites praying to a false patriarchal god. Preaching about love one minute and then blaring horns at each other in the parking lot as soon as mass was over. I heard closed-minded old white men putting words in saints' mouths. I saw priests shaming latecomers instead of welcoming them.
Jesus sounds ok, to be fair. I don’t really have a problem with Christianity. I mostly have a problem with Christians. I have known some incredible people who consider themselves religious, but they are the exception rather than the norm. To me, they are good and spiritual people regardless of their religion. Not because of it. I learned early that religion has nothing to do with being a good person.
Mom meant well, but she did me a massive disservice because I spent the rest of my life, well into my 30s, rejecting religion, and I rejected spirituality along with it. I found it again in 12-step groups, where I went to seek relief from my own violent alcoholic. And this is how trauma goes. It is carried along down the family line, repeating, until someone stands up to heal it. I only went because I was so in pain, so powerless, and so desperate that I didn’t know where else to turn. It was my last resort. Que the spiritual awakening.
I’ve come out of the most chaotic, intense, and gut-wrenching time of my life as a completely different person. This person has cobbled together her own spirituality from all her broken pieces. It hasn’t come from outdated books or the mouths of questionable old white men. It’s come from my own lived experience, my intuition, fragments of esoteric wisdom, and the electricity I feel in my body when I instinctively know that something is true. I hope I might inspire you to do the same.
The problem with the church is that there should be no middleman. Humans are too fallible to speak for a force so incomprehensible. You can commune with God, the universe, or Source without a translator.
We are not human beings having a spiritual experience. We are spiritual beings having a human experience. There is an ancient web of wisdom that anyone can access, and the first step is simply believing that it’s there. The true laws of the universe are not taught in churches. They are felt in your bones, and it feels like a remembering.
Why should we blindly accept the religion we’re born into as dogma? My German and Irish ancestors were druids, Celts, and heathens before the Romans came. Tribal Europeans used to have rich, nature-based religions deeply connected to the cycles of the earth and the cosmos. They worshipped in groves, by rivers, and atop mountains, honoring the spirits of the land, their ancestors, and the deities. With the spread of the Roman Empire and the subsequent Christianization of Europe, these ancient practices were systematically eradicated. Temples were destroyed, sacred texts were burned, and pagan rituals were outlawed. The clergy branded these indigenous beliefs as heretical and used force to convert the populace. Over generations, the once-vibrant spiritual traditions faded into obscurity, leaving only fragmented myths and folklore behind. Why should I accept the religious rape of my true heritage by adopting the beliefs of our oppressors?
Hail to the heathens.
THE 52 IMMUTABLE LAWS
Have you ever met someone for the first time who you felt like you knew already? Heard children speak about past lives? Felt like the universe was pushing you in a direction that you had no control over? Looked back and seen how some chain of events lead to a perfect outcome? It can’t all be coincidence. Not everything real can be seen and measured.
Divine Oneness: Everything and everyone is connected; every soul deserves reverence.
Law of Vibration: Your energy affects your reality; you attract what vibrates at your frequency.
Law of Correspondence: Everything happening outside is a reflection of what's happening inside; to heal the world, heal yourself.
Law of Attraction: Whatever you focus on grows; your attention shapes your reality.
Inspired Action: Nothing changes until you change something; you are the author of your story.
Perpetual Transmutation of Energy: Energy doesn’t go anywhere; it’s only transmuted.
Law of Cause and Effect: Every action has a reaction; what goes out will come back, unless transmuted.
Law of Compensation: You reap what you sow; every effort you make brings results.
Law of Relativity: Nothing is good or bad; it just is. What seems bad could always be worse.
Law of Polarity: Everything has a positive and negative pole; opposites are necessary for balance. The pendulum forever swings.
Law of Rhythm: Nothing is linear; everything moves in cycles. Death is not the end.
Law of Gender: Everyone has masculine and feminine energy; balance these energies for harmony.
Law of Mentalism: The universe is a mental construct; your thoughts shape your reality.
Law of Focus: The simplest solution is the most effective; concentrate on one thing at a time.
Law of Hospitality: Contribute to the things you believe in; your support creates a better world.
Law of Time: The present moment lasts forever, which means you have all the time you need. Time slows down when you slow down. The slower you go, the more you will see.
Law of Patterns: The universe will keep giving you the same lessons until you learn from them. There are no mistakes. Only lessons. Lessons do not end.
Law of Patience: The universe moves slowly, like a tree; patience brings rewards.
Law of Meaning: We all have gifts worth sharing; your unique contributions matter.
Law of Reward: The universe favors action; it rewards courage, vulnerability, and surrender.
Law of Simulation: Earth is a school where souls go to learn from making terrible mistakes.
Law of Awareness: Triggers are there to show you what needs healing; awareness leads to growth.
Law of Control: The only thing you can control is yourself; attempts to control others will always backfire.
Law of Attachment: We are only as needy as our unmet needs. Only when you can meet them on your own will you find someone who can meet them with you.
Law of Responsibility: No one is coming to save you; you are responsible for your responses to everything in your life.
Law of Resistance: Only when you accept yourself as you are can you change; resistance hinders growth.
Law of Design: Everything happens for a reason, even if that reason is stupid. The universe knows what you need better than you do. You can’t ruin anything that is meant for you.
Law of Intention: The intention behind a decision matters more than the decision itself.
Law of Paradox: Everything is a paradox; embrace contradictions.
Law of Change: Everything is temporary; embrace change as a constant.
Law of Imagination: Everything that is real was imagined first; creativity shapes reality.
Law of Surrender: Nothing can be forced; let go and trust the process.
Law of Creation: You have the power to create your reality; your thoughts and actions are the building blocks.
Law of Growth: Personal development is a constant, necessary part of life. If you don’t choose your challenges, they will choose you.
Law of Connection: Everything is interconnected and affects everything else; your actions ripple through the universe.
Law of Significance and Inspiration: Your life and actions have significance and can inspire others.
Law of Honorable Harvest: Take only what you need and use everything you take; but take something.
Law of Planes of Existence: Energy is expressed in parallel through different planes of existence (mind, body, emotions).
Law of Synchronicity: Meaningful coincidences guide us toward our true path and destiny.
Law of Critical Mass: A new spiritual awakening is occurring, driven by a critical mass of spiritually aware individuals.
Law of Intuition and Flow: Trust your intuition to guide you; follow the flow of life.
Law of Interpersonal Ethic: Uplift others to create positive synchronicities in your life.
Law of Spiritual Mission: Everyone has a unique spiritual mission to contribute to the world.
Law of Vision and Prayer: Hold a vision for the future and use the power of prayer and intention to manifest it.
Law of Alchemy and Transmutation: Transform and transmute energy from one state to another; change starts from within.
Law of Divine Order: Everything in the universe is in perfect order and happens at the right time.
Law of Abundance: The universe is infinitely abundant; scarcity is a human construct.
Law of Action: To manifest your desires, you must engage in actions that support those desires.
Law of Gratitude: Gratitude brings more things to be grateful for; it's a powerful tool for shifting your perspective and attracting positive energy. Comparison is the thief of joy.
Law of Reflection: What you see in others also exists in you.
Law of Non-Attachment: Detachment from outcomes allows you to experience true freedom and joy.
Law of Relinquishment: Letting go of what no longer serves you creates space for new opportunities and growth.
Basically, The universe is into BDSM. There is no safe word. I don't make the rules. There are cheat codes.
Treat everything like a paradox.
Run towards discomfort.
Get kinky.
Reverse psychology that bitch.
When you can't escape getting spanked by life you can at least change the power dynamic.
"I fucking love this bullshit!"
Now, you're choosing the lesson instead of letting it choose you. From that position, your lessons become easier to master. Then you finally pass, and the universe upgrades the curriculum...Like I said. BDSM.
(You know you like it).
