Step 1: Know your strengths and weaknesses

To be more unicorn is to be the best version of yourself. The first step is knowing yourself well. Especially, knowing your strengths and weaknesses.

As adults a lot of us have assumed identities that are more socially accepted, to the point we have neglected or even forgotten our true natures. It takes time to rewire that unconscious programming and re-learn what our real strengths are.

This is one of the reasons that I love Myers-Briggs (MBTI) personality theory. MBTI is a system for identifying your cognitive preferences and then categorizing them into different personality types.

Critics will say that MBTI is just astrology for psychology nerds, but I disagree. (Also, that’s totally something an ISTJ would say).

Astrology assigns traits based on when you’re born. But with Myers-Briggs, you tell the assessment your preferences for how you operate in the world and it simply gives you a name for them.

There’s 16 different personality types, each with 4 different letters and 4 different primary functions. Those functions are your strengths, going in order from greatest to least. The remaining 4 functions are your shadow functions, or your weaknesses.

Your personality type reveals if you’re an introvert or extrovert, an intuitive or a sensor, a thinker or a feeler, a judger or a perceiver. But beyond that, there’s different types of feeling, different types of thinking, etc. and this is where your function stack comes in.

If you’re curious about your personality type, you can take a free test at 16personalities.com. Then use the table shown to find your function stack.

Here’s what each of the functions mean:

Te= extroverted thinking

Ti= introverted thinking

Se= extroverted sensing

Si= introverted sensing

Ne= extroverted intuition

Ni= introverted intuition

Fe= extroverted feeling

Fi= introverted feeling

The function in your dominant column is your greatest strength. Metaphorically, it’s like your dominant hand. That makes your auxiliary function your non-dominant hand. Your tertiary function is your dominant foot, and your inferior function is your non-dominant foot. 

I’m not sure which body parts the shadow functions would be… use your imagination.

Step Two: Hone your strengths and your weaknesses

I think there’s a misconception that to be the best version of yourself, you should focus on strengthening your weaknesses, but actually, the opposite is true.

According to Yale’s science of happiness course, we’re happiest when we use our strengths. And unicorns deserve to be happy.

Ultimately I believe in maximizing your happiness and leveraging your strengths first, then attending to your weaknesses second. Why attend to your weaknesses? Because unicorns are ambidextrous. Plus, there’s other mythical beasts out there with completely different function stacks and we’re often obligated to play their game. Or maybe you’ve fallen in love with a pegasus and you want to know how to speak their language. So let’s look at the functions again and ways you can practice using them.

Thinking: The ability to make sense of things and get results

Extroverted Thinking: The ability to envision the steps to a goal

This type of thinking is externally focused. Strong extroverted thinkers are scientific, debaters, and planners. Examples of extraverted thinking are building, organizing, and scheduling.

To practice extraverted thinking; make plans, ask for something you need, set a goal and break it down into steps. Do something that requires taking action.

Introverted Thinking: The ability to see patterns

This type of thinking is internally focused. Strong introverted thinkers are logical, philosophical, and mathematical. Examples of introverted thinking are reasoning, research, and fact checking.

To practice introverted thinking; play word games, riddles, or puzzles. Do something that requires strategy.

Sensing: The ability to see details, facts, and what is provable

Extroverted Sensing: The ability to operate in the present moment

Extroverted sensing is sensual, instinctual, active, and adventurous. Strong extroverted sensors are focused on gathering new information and experiences.

To practice extroverted sensing, practice something hands-on. Play a sport, go for a walk, dance to music or engage your senses. Do something that requires you to be active.

Introverted Sensing: The ability to recall the past

Introverted sensing is stabilizing, reflective, and nostalgic. Strong introverted sensors are reserved, practical, and responsible.

To practice introverted sensing, go through old photos, create a tradition or ritual, cultivate a healthy routine, read old journal entries. Do something that requires you to appreciate things and reflect.

Intuition: The ability to see concepts, patterns and what is possible

Extroverted Intuition: The ability to see hidden possibility

Extroverted intuition is broad and focused on gathering information. Strong extroverted intuitives are innovative, curious, and spontaneous. They love seeking growth, taking risks, and interacting with others.

To practice extroverted intuition, do something creative, look for new opportunities, or try something spontaneous. Do something that requires you to adapt in the moment.

Introverted Intuition: The ability to predict the future

Introverted intuition is deep and focused on narrowing down. Strong introverted intuitives are insightful, good at seeing things from different perspectives, and have an uncanny ability to foresee events. They love exploring ideas, theories, and metaphors.

To practice introverted intuition; look for foreshadowing in a book or movie, scan for hidden symbols, and make bets on future events. Do something that requires you to make predictions.

Feeling: The ability to judge value and appropriateness

Extroverted Feeling: The ability to meet other’s needs

Extroverted feeling is outward focused and wide in scope. Strong extroverted feelers are able to sense the emotions and needs of others. They are expressive, emotional, and communicative.

To practice extroverted feeling, be a good listener. Volunteer or do something to help others. Imagine yourself in someone else’s situation and predict how they might feel. Do something that requires you to support someone else. 

Introverted Feeling: The ability to discern emotional experiences

Introverted feeling is inward focused and narrow in scope. Strong introverted feelers are able to narrow down emotional experiences and pinpoint specific feelings. They are mysterious, sensitive, and creative.

To practice introverted feeling, journal about your experiences, honor your likes and dislikes, name your emotions as you feel them. Do something that requires you to recognize and validate your needs and experiences.

Step 3: Use your strengths and weaknesses

The last step in becoming more unicorn means learning to switch between different functions depending on the situation. For example, you might be a strong feeler with a deep amount of empathy. But if you’re trapped in a relationship with a vampire, your feelings of love for them or an ability to see future potential will keep you stuck. The strategy here is to switch out of your superpower, empty your mind of feeling, and focus on the facts. That vampire is bleeding you dry. Think of your cognitive functions as tools in a toolbox. Most of the time, you will be happiest using the skills that come naturally to you. But once in a while, you might get stuck. That’s when it’s time to open your toolbox and try an alternative.